The declaration was later redacted following reports that several armies were wiped out by colossal women.

Further investigation revealed that the soldiers were actually soldier ants.

In sports, it's December and you know what that means. Baseball season!

An unusual start as the second inning was interrupted by interference from the crowd.

Mitch's manager was quoted as saying, "Hey, at least she kept her clothes on this time."

(let's not forget the minor leagues)

Support your local baseball

(and indeed ant)

team on Ko-fi

In other sports / politics, fight season continues. It literally never stops here, they won't let us, send hel...

Our racing league, on the other hand, is reaching its climax.

It'll probably turn into another fighting league at this rate. In other news, another fighting league has opened.

The costume department were quoted as saying, "This is 100% what Natalie looks like in her MMA gear that you can't see the concept art of to prove me wrong."

Apparently Betty's usual uniform was harder to find... but her bunny costume was right there (for some reason, can't imagine why).

Join the Rumbles and Races on Patreon!

In other news, I got a takeaway this week and the pizza place called me gay!

(this contained goujons but nobody's handwriting is that bad, pretty sure they're just pissed off I ordered so much)

It was also (literally) reported to me that "the man who voices Milwall is retiring" ...by someone who doesn't watch The Simpsons if that wasn't obvious.

A sad day indeed, but for as long as this newspaper has been running (feels like it only started yesterday... if not today), my favourite part has always been the reader art section so let's try and cheer ourselves up with that.

Betty T. Baseball Brat by @MKMaffo

Cute chicken that nothing bad will happen to, I'm sure.

by @Ostan5000

Jane Pain manga by @Cycle9 

Snowy sketch by @StevSteelEn

Additional thanks to @Peti for (retroactively in this case) designing the dialogue sprites for the baseball video.

And @L3ny who created Nat and showed me a load of the aforementioned concept art that inspired her AEW MMA design.

Finally, it's that time of year again and, as always, the good (and trustworthy) folks at the R&C department have provided another advent calendar!

Merry Chickenmas!

Previous shout-out posts (/newspaper editions, whatever):

Basically Betty - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1272506

Jane brings the Pain - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1344161

Jane Pain again - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1350335

Jane Pain train - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1353732

Meet Michelle - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1358123

Mitched bag - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1361125

Jill Spill - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1364463

Super Starving Sisters - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1368226

Fights, collabs, fights & fights - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1372788

Literally one friggin' picture - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1376239

Forget me, twat - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1379910

Too many artists (please eliminate 3) - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1383393

One that made you uncomfortable - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1386595

Marsha Law & Violent Lin (Violin) - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1390819

One more thing - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1394947

Premature celebration - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1398010

Pumpkin Batch - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1401231

Spanks & Killing - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1404444

References - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1407272

Boxing Day - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1410706

Janeuary - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1414691

3 Fictional Fighting Things - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1417977

Cat - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1421243

Late St. Valentine's Day - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1424426

Early St. Paddy's Day - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1428013

834573R - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1433203

Bussy - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1436690

Birth/Earth Day - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1439822

Deviants - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1443358

Go Kart Yourself - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1447025

Comb(unny)o Breaker - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1450775

Race Wars - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1454340

Mitch, Please! - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1457939

Fighter Girls (for a change) - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1461182

Ruining Nadia's moment - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1464601

Al... as in Al, not AI - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1467831

Big cat - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1471372

Beach Slap - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1474722

COCtober - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1478132

This just in... - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1481264

Spooky, Sketchy Shout-outs - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1485077

53xy Scholarships - https://53xy83457.newgrounds.com/news/post/1488393

More here-